7 signs your husband’s having an affair

Recently Emma Thompson came clean in The New Yorker that she had been ‘utterly blind’ to the fact that her then husband Kenneth Branagh was having an affair with Helena Bonham Carter.

When Emma found out, she felt completely unlovable.

She thought she should have seen the signs.

I’ve yet to meet a woman who’s seen the signs as her husband’s affair is happening.

It happened to Emma. It could happen to me, or to you.

In retrospect, the woman’s body knows. She’s been feeling down for awhile, which is unusual for her. Life feels hard.

She might even be taking anti-depressants.

You might even be taking anti-depressants, for the first time.

Yet her mind keeps telling her all is well, when it’s not.

Can you relate?

If you’re wondering if your husband is having an affair, here are 7 signs you he might be:

  1. He spends a lot of time away from home. This could be working late or frequent out of town business trips.

  2. He refuses to use the online family calendar, or participate in a locator app used by the rest of the family, such as Life360.

  3. He’s started going to the gym.

  4. He’s paying more attention to his appearance. It might be a new haircut, losing weight, new clothes, or brushing his teeth more frequently.

  5. He’s not participating in children’s activities. For example, let’s say he played hockey on the university team and still loves the sport. Now your son has started playing hockey. Your husband doesn’t coach or attend practices or games.

  6. He never lets you handle his phone.

  7. Your sex life has always been pretty meat and potatoes, and lately he’s been wanting to have sex with you in some unusual / more exciting places.

Not all of these need to be present for your husband to be having an affair.

If he’s away a lot, never lets you handle his phone, and is paying more attention to his appearance, most likely you have a reason to be concerned.

Knowing this is when the hard part begins.

You need to decide what to do. Do you approach him with your suspicions, or not?

Are there steps you can take to protect yourself and your children?

Are there things you can do to have a better conversation?

What do you need to do first?

I could share what to do next, but I’m not going to because you matter. This is an intensely personal and emotional time. Sharing blanket advice could lead you astray. It’s not the support you need.

When you’re ready to learn more, or want help processing this knowledge, I’m here for you.

All you need to do is Chat with Kim. It’s free, AND you’ll feel better for taking this step.

Previous
Previous

Unintended consequences

Next
Next

Truth and Reconciliation: a settler’s tale