What’s most important?
This is a slightly abridged email I received from a client. Parts have been changed to maintain privacy.
Hi Kim,
I want to highlight some points from our mediation session.
When I first arrived, my ex was waiting in the parking lot, 30 minutes early for the time he was supposed to be there, watching me. Even though I knew that would happen, it still makes me uncomfortable. I really didn’t want to participate. I wanted to go home.
Historically, these types of meetings between us do not so smoothly. There’s a battle of wills.
However, something kind of strange happened this time. When you began the session with the ice breaker (?) / game (?) / exercise (?) … the type of activity that usually makes me internally roll my eyes, I found that it helped focus me and my intentions, and on what was really important.
I always feel that my intentions are good, but know I often get caught up in the emotion and stress of the situation. When that happens, I’m done.
This time, after being put in a position where I had to focus on how much I love my children and want what’s best for them, it helped ease the anxiety I was feeling about being there, with him.
In my mind, I kept telling myself, “let her do her job.” This self-talk kept me quiet, and allowed you to do what you are clearly trained to do. Many times I wanted to interrupt or defend myself. However, I saw you bringing it back to the main focus of my children, which in turn made me feel more confidentthat you had the children’s best interests at heart.
That was the whole point, right? To ensure they are happy, healthy and loved and what our roles as parents are in their lives. For one of the first times in years, I felt that this process was actually getting me somewhere as opposed to just remaining stagnant … at least in my feelings and headspace.
Thank you very much!
a client